Irrational Entertaining
by Rosey Malone
Summary: Athos knows that being with a bored Aramis on a stakeout will only lead to trouble. But, they manage to get the work done. Even if it is Aramis' way. Modern AU. Rated for mild swearing.


**Hey guys! I've wanted to do some modern stories for quite some time, but never got around to them. So here's one to start with! It's only rated for some mild swearing. Please let me know your thoughts! I'm always happy to read them! :)**

Athos tried to ignore the ridiculous sounds coming from the man next to him. He knew Aramis was bored out of his mind, but he really wished that the man would learn to occupy himself in moments like this.

Treville had sent he and Aramis on a stakeout to see if they could find any suspects or clues to a recent gang member shooting that had taken place in downtown. The shooting had been a violent one, so the Captain had decided to send his best team on the job. Porthos had been spending his time in Vancouver on a work retreat, leaving Athos and Aramis to fend for themselves.

Or rather leaving Athos to have to work out the details as Aramis sulked with boredom in their quiet black Jeep Grand Cherokee. He couldn't really blame the man. After all, four hours was quite a long time to be sitting in the same spot watching for anything to emerge from the old warehouse building.

But Aramis had seen it as the ultimate form of punishment. He had complained over half a dozen times of the unfairness of it all. Athos knew that a bored Aramis was a force to be reckoned with.

The older man ignored the fourth sigh. Seemed like tonight might just become entertaining after all.

"Come on," Aramis whined leaning his head against the leather headrest, "He doesn't even have to surrender immediately. He can just come out, have us chance him and die a glorious death along with his drugs."

Athos snorted, "You make it sound so easy."

"It is," Aramis nodded, "Step outside," He pulled out his gun pretending to aim it ahead, "Bang! Done."

"You know he might actually consider our proposition for 15 years in prison," Athos titled his head at his brother, "They don't always have to die."

"No," Aramis shrugged, "But their usually stupid and want to try." He looked out his window again, "At least it would give us something to do."

"I for one, am actually relieved that it's been a quiet evening so far. No shootings happen to be a good thing."

"Yeah, till we lose our jobs."

Athos sighed, "Well I suppose it's a price we must pay."

A silence rang about them again and Athos was just about to start enjoying it until Aramis took to fidgeting again.

He squirmed to and fro and sat up a bit as if trying to reach into his back pocket.

"What are you doing?" Athos couldn't help but ask after several more minutes of this nonsense.

"I know I put some candy in here somewhere." He felt around his front pockets.

"Candy?"

"Yes," Aramis looked over at Athos with a confused expression on his face, "You know what candy is, don't you Athos?"

Athos just rolled his eyes in response.

"Oh man," The Spaniard huffed, "I must've left it on my desk."

"Funny, I never would think you of all people would forget candy," Athos smirked.

Aramis just continued to look around.

"Maybe it fell on the floor." He leaned forward a bit so he could see, "Do you see it?"

Athos looked around on the floor, "No."

Then it dawned on him, just how silly he must've looked. Trying to find his brother's candy, really?

"Do you have any in here?" Aramis opened the glove compartment and began to move things about.

"Aramis will you close that!" Athos growled, "I don't have any candy in there."

"Ohhhh!" A high pitched squeak of excitement that sounded nothing like Aramis startled him. He tried to not looked shocked as Aramis sat back holding what looked like a smaller gun.

"What the hell is that?" Athos frowned. He knew they always kept their weapons in the back of the truck or on their belts.

"I forgot I left this in here!" Aramis had a wide happy grin on his face, "This is awesome!"

"Why do you have a gun in there, Aramis," Athos tried to keep his voice steady, when in reality he felt like shouting, "We have a ton of guns in the back compartment."

"Athos please," Aramis looked at him incredulously, "This is not a gun. This is a first alert 5100K portable handgun. Do you know how important these babies' are?"

"By all means, enlighten me." Athos stared ahead trying to sound interested.

"This is constructed out of 18 gauge steel and has a black powder-coat finish. The durability is exceptional and it even includes a lock entry. And it has-"

"Ok stop," Athos raised a hand for silence, "You do realize that I don't understand a word you're saying, right?"

Aramis lifted his gaze heavenward as if saying some silent prayer on Athos' behalf.

"Athos, sometimes I think I'll be doomed forever."

"Doomed to what?"

"To always being the only man with a deep intelligence and understanding of the complexity that these tools contain."

Athos rolled his eyes for the second time that night. He never could understand his brother's obsession with weapons. Put the man in a room full of them, and there was very little chance that you'd be leaving for the next few hours.

"Why doesn't he just give up already?" Aramis sat back crossing his arms over his chest, "It's not like he doesn't know we're waiting out here."

"He doesn't," Athos replied dryly,

"Don't be ridiculous, how could anybody be that stupid?" Aramis shook his head, "He's known this entire time. Bastard's just waiting for us to get tired and leave."

Athos raised a skeptical eyebrow, "And how exactly did you come to that conclusion?"

Aramis smirked, "It's obvious by how's he's reacting when he walks. Earlier when we were following him, he kept looking to the right and left. He did it a total of seven times. Once or twice would've suggested that he was cautious about being followed. But seven is compulsive. He believes he is being followed therefore he either has some sort of mental disorder or he knows we're here."

Athos just blinked back at him. For all of his annoying habits, the man was good. Very good.

"So he's figured out our strategy?" Came the next question which probably was a needless one.

"Yep." Aramis had opened his gun and began cleaning it gingerly, making sure to give each piece fond care.

Athos watched him quietly. He found an odd sense of comfort in watching his brother's trained hands skillfully remove each part. He could do this blindfolded. He knew because Athos had once dared him, no doubt being obviously surprised by the outcome.

"I wonder if Porthos is having as much fun as we are?" Athos smirked at the sarcastic comment.

"Please," He drawled, "With all those superiors sitting around talking like old men, I'll be surprised if Porthos hasn't attempted to hide in the bathroom throughout the whole meeting."

This brought a laugh forth from Aramis and soon Athis found himself giggling as well.

"God, I can see that," Aramis hummed in amusement, "A secretary will knock on the bathroom door, "Mr. DuVallon," His voice went an octave higher, "Your presence is requested for the following meetings, please join us when you're ready."

Athos snorted, "And there's our ever endearing Porthos standing in the men's room faking food poisoning."

"Hey, if that's his method of getting out of three hour meetings, I support his endeavors all the way." Aramis winked.

Athos shook his head in amusement.

Nothing more was said for the next several minutes. Each man contemplating his own thoughts.

"I miss him," Aramis admitted quietly, "Stakeouts are so boring without him."

"You're just saying that because Porthos always being you candy and a book to keep you occupied." Athos mused.

"Not true," Aramis defended, "I bring the candy, Porthos would be content to just let me starve."

"Well, I wouldn't be," Athos replied, "Because I'm not fond of hearing you whining like a three-year-old for the next hour."

Aramis faced brightened up in a second, "Does that me we get to eat something after we're through here."

"Sure," Athos nodded, "Wouldn't want you wasting away here in the car now would we?"

Aramis smiled and leaned back in his chair. A few minutes went by of undisturbed quiet and Athos felt relieved and amused. Relieved because the quiet was a miracle. Amused because he never thought that just the promise of food would have been enough to keep the ball of energy sitting next to him quiet.

Suddenly, Aramis sat up and began flicking on the car light on the roof above them. He switched on and then off and then back on again.

"What are you doing?" Athos frowned clearly concerned.

"These lights are cool," Aramis observed and Athos could've sworn that he looked like a child. He continued to flick the lights on and off till Athos pushed him back.

"Hey!" He frowned

"Stop it," Athos said irritated.

"Fine," Aramis pouted, "Then hit the horn."

"Hit the horn?" Athos let his jaw drop, "Are you insane? That will blow our cover for sure!"

"I know," Aramis responded as if the answer had been obvious and apparent. He then leaned over and pushed the horn so suddenly that Athos had no time to stop him.

"What the hell?" In one quick motion, Athos pushed the man back in his seat. Aramis however just sat back with a content smile on his face.

"You better explain what you're doing if you don't want to wither away in this care after all!" Athos threatened.

"Well, now he knows we're here, he'll have no choice but to try to run." Aramis grinned, "And we can get something to eat sooner."

Athos' jaw dropped, "Are you serious? You did this for food?"

"Of course," Aramis nodded, "Why else? I'm starving."

Athos rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. How could a perfectly sane man like himself end up with such a lunatic, he would never know.

He heard Aramis speak again as if nothing was wrong.

"On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-"

"At least twenty." Athos sighed, "Whatever you can come up with will be at least twenty."

"Athos?"

"What?"

"You didn't even hear what I was asking."

"What were you asking?" Athos rolled his eyes really feeling like he didn't want to know the answer.

"On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if we made an early bust?"

Athos shook his head, "Not bad at all. Why?"

"Because the bastard inside's running off!" Aramis said and jumped out of his seat and was out the door before Athos could say a word. Instead, he just put the key in the car and fired it up to follow.

The chase wasn't even interesting. By the time Athos had pulled up in the empty alleyway, Aramis was already bent over handcuffing the man, who insisted one screaming to get anyone's attention.

He heard the last part of the man's pleas as he came by Aramis' side.

"You guys can't do this to me!" He shouted, "I'm innocent. You've got no proof!"

"No proof hm?" Aramis smiled, "That's a shame. Ath, I guess we're just gonna have to tell Treville that this," He pulled a package of drugs out of the man's jean pocket, "Was just a Christmas present, right?"

"I suppose so," Athos smirked, "But, while we're explaining it to him, we can read you your rights too."

The man sighed and stopped fighting, realizing that both men had caught him red-handed.

"That was epic!" Aramis laughed as he shoved the man into the backseat of the car, "Going from talking about food to catching this bimbo. I love my work!"

Athos couldn't help but laugh out loud at his brother's antics.

"So what do you say we send him to the office and get ourselves some Chinese food?" He suggested with a smirk.

"Yes!" Aramis agreed getting into the car with his brother, "I'm gonna eat my belt if I don't get some food soon!"

"Aramis?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you still think Porthos is having more fun than us?" Athos winked pulling out of the space.

Aramis grinned happily, "Hell no."


End file.
